Tag Archives: same sex marriage

SNIPPETS (5-27-2018)



Yesterday, Jim and I celebrated 24 years of knowing each other. Since we really never thought that we would be able to get married in our lifetimes, we decided to celebrate our anniversary as the day we met.

Then along came “Domestic Partnerships.” Such an ugly term. Nonetheless, we got domestic partnered on July 31, 2004. We even have a “Certificate of Domestic Partnership” issued by the California Secretary of State.

Then along came “Same-Sex Marriage.” Wrongly named. It should be “Same Gender Marriage.” Why is it always about sex? Nonetheless, when it looked like the voters were going to repeal same-sex marriage on the first Tuesday of November in 2008, Jim and I got married. On October 30.

So, basically, we get to celebrate three times each year. More margaritas for us! Yahoooooooooooo!


Back in 1966, my wise old grandmother was sitting at the dining room table with her scissors, tape, Elmer’s glue, photo albums, scrapbooks, and dozens of pictures. She was cutting pictures apart and taping different sections together to give her the picture and story she wanted.

Pre-Photoshop cropping and merging.

She told me then that what comes out of the camera is just the basics to start with, teaching me to never throw away “throwaway pictures.”

Here is what many would call a throwaway picture of Zoey the Cool Cat:

Zoey the Cool Cat throwaway picture

Not sure what was going on at that time that resulted in such a cruddy picture. Nonetheless….

Here is what I created in Photoshop with that cruddy picture:

Zoey the Cool Cat drawing

I think the result is beautiful, perhaps even hauntingly beautiful.


Beautiful, interesting sunrise this past Friday morning.

Sunrise in El Cajon CA


I usually am not satisfied with panoramas that I create using Photoshop’s Photomerge function. It’s not Photoshop or Photomerge. It’s me not taking enough pictures to fill in the outside areas so I have to crop them.

In this panorama of the Point Loma Submarine Base in San Diego, with me standing smack dab in the middle of the base, I still didn’t take enough pictures but I like the effect that the missing pictures leave:

Point Loma submarine base in San Diego CA


I’m making an educational display for the San Diego Cactus & Succulent Society’s Summer Show & Sale next weekend. It’s on container gardening, titled “You CAN grow any plant in any pot!”

I’m specifically focusing on containers without drainage holes so I’m making a slide show of all my plants that are growing happily in containers without drainage holes. I was so focused on this Ming Aralia that I did not see that I got photobombed by Zoey the Cool Cat.

Ming Aralia being photobombed by Zoey the Cool Cat


The look on Zoey the Cool Cat’s face…..

Zoey the Cool Cat

Either she is upset that I found her, or she’s upset because she knows I’m going to put her on the Internet yet again.


For my zombie friends.

Sticker on the back of a huge F350 pick-em-up truck in East San Diego County boondocks:




No photography


When I was a freshman at Texas A&M University in 1973-1974, I would not be stretching it to say that I survived on Kraft macaroni & cheese, and PB&J (Peter Pan peanut butter and Bama Apple Butter) sandwiches.

At the age of 63, I could still do that except that Bama is not around here in San Diego.

With the Kraft Mac&Cheese, I modify it somewhat by adding chicken and jalapeños. Couple that with a margarita, and I’m in culinary heaven.

Chicken, jalapeños, and Kraft macaroni & cheese


I have been squirrel- and rabbit-proofing my property. It seems to be working because this squirrel couldn’t get in and had to eat an Opuntia cactus in the Open Space Preserve on the other side of the fence.

Whenever I get in the cactus, I get a lot of thorns in my skin. Wish I were a squirrel!


Zoey the Cool Cat has a rotation that she gets into. She’ll choose a spot and that will be where I can always find her for 3-5 days. Then she’ll choose a different spot. 3-5 days. Different spot. 3-5 days. On and on. When she runs out of spots, she’ll simply start over. Her spot for the past two days provides me with this view from my office:

View from the office

Zoey the Cool Cat


I just finished reading “The Fountainhead” by Ayn Rand. Published in 1943. Interestingly, I have a hard copy first edition in my library. Not sure where it came from, but since Jim has worked for Borders, Barnes & Noble, Warwick’s, B. Dalton, and Waldenbooks for 40 years, I’m pretty sure it was in his collection when we merged. He claims he doesn’t know where it came from either, though.

When I was trying to decide whether or not to read a book from 1943, I searched for online review. One was from President Dumb Jerk Twitler, saying that he had read it and considered himself Howard Roark, one of the main characters. Ha! The words, sentences, paragraphs, and book are waaaaaaaaay too long for his little brain, and he’s definitely NOT Howard Roark.


Just started reading “The Crooked Staircase” by Dean Koontz. Jim brought home the “Advance Readers Edition” a couple of months ago but I was reading “The Fountainhead” so I just now started “The Crooked Staircase.” It went on sale My, 8, 2018, so check it out. I’ve read 50 pages, and like his two previous Jane Hawk novels, this one is going to be good. Read good.

Next up is “The Forbidden Door,” also by Dean Koontz. Jim brought home the “Advance Readers Edition” a couple of days ago. It goes on sale October 9, 2018, so I’ll definitely have read it by that time, probably by July 9, 2018.

I'm Zoey the Cool Cat, and I approve this post

It was six years ago today (we got married!)

I livew in my own little world

On April 15, 1993, I was standing in line at the Bank of A&M in College Station, Texas, to transfer money from savings to checking to cover the check I was writing to the IRS later than afternoon.

Late that night, after packing the Mustang GT with 100 CDs, enough clothes for a one-week drive, and $5,000 in cash, I left for Canada to commit suicide. It wasn’t the IRS, although I have heard of the IRS driving people to death. Rather, it was sexuality—mine—which I couldn’t reconcile with my Mormon (mom) and Catholic (dad) upbringing. Thus, at the age of 38, I was going to choose suicide.

It’s a two-week story of how I wound up in San Diego, but I did…. And I stayed.

On May 26, 1994, I met Jim Frimmer at the Men’s Coming Out Support Group at the San Diego Center for Social Services. It was actually the gay and lesbian center, but even as recently as 1994 you couldn’t have a telephone number listed for anything “gay” or “lesbian.”

At that time I was working as a consultant in Detroit, Michigan. The company provided me with a free trip home once a month, and May 26, 1994, was my first trip home. We had dates on the 27, 28, and 29 before I had to go back to Detroit. After those three dates, we were pretty sure we were committed to each other.

In November 1995, after I had returned to San Diego permanently, we moved in together and commingled our finances and our lives—a common-law marriage, although not recognized as such since it was between two guys.

On July 31, 2004, we got domestic partnered (such an ugly term) when Domestic Partnership came to California.

Then, in May 2008, the California Supreme Court effectively made same-gender marriage legal in California with one of its rulings. Almost immediately, religious political extremists started gathering signatures for a voter referendum on “gay marriage” and succeeded in getting it on the November 2008 ballot. A week before the election, the polls weren’t looking good for same-gender marriage, so I asked Jim to marry me….

….and on October 30, 2008….


The referendum passed, which meant that same-gender couples could no longer marry in California. But what about the 17,000 same-gender couples who had married in California between May and November 2008? Well, in May 2009, the California Supreme Court ruled that since those same-gender couples had married legally, their marriages would remain legal.

Religious political extremists sued to have them declared null and void, but they lost. Since that time same-gender marriage has been taking the United States state by state, and it’s only a matter of time before all 50 states recognize the love between two people of the same gender.

So happy anniversary to Jim Frimmer. Thank you for being a significant part of my life for over twenty years.

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SNIPPETS (5-17-14)—You’re ugly, dirty lyrics, wwjd, and more!


Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos

snip-pet: a small piece of something

Snippets: mini blog posts


Julian gets things done faster than I can create things for him to do, so I’m working fast to create lots of Photographic Art to keep him busy uploading to the Photographic Art galleries of Russel Ray Photos at Fine Art America.

Yesterday evening he mentioned my picture of an ugly grey duck. Ducks, of course, are not ugly, nor are any birds. They just have different features, just like people. I couldn’t think of an ugly grey duck, so I went searching in my birds folder and found a picture of a Shoebill (Balaeniceps rex). Ah-ha! Lots of people think the Shoebill is ugly. What say you?

Shoebill (Balaeniceps rex)

The Shoebill is a huge bird, getting up to 60 inches tall, weighing up to 15.4 pounds, and having a wing span up to 8½ feet. I think it might be bigger than Julian:

Shoebill and Julian

I’m thinking that Shoebill could take care of Julian real quickly, so I would say, “Beware of name-calling.”

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos


As stated in a recent post (Rancho Santo Fe, the Benardo Fire, and my new BFF house), my chess class on Fridays happens to be out where the fires are burning, specifically the Bernardo Fire near Rancho Santa Fe. I had to pass through the burned area yesterday and, of course (you know me!), got a couple of pictures.

Burned hillsides with lots of smoke still rising from the fire on the other side:

Bernardo Fire, San Diego, California, 051614

Lonely mansion overlooking a burned hillside:

Bernardo Fire, San Diego, California, 051614

As you can see in the picture directly above, the fire got pretty close to that mansion. Fortunately, after the October 2003 and October 2007 fires, the County passed ordinances requiring people living in rural areas to create a defensible space around their home. That’s really the main reason why no homes were lost in the Bernardo Fire.

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos


It’s so sad that the worse the fires are, the more beautiful the sunsets. This is from my back patio May 15 where it got up to 104° (F for my Canadian friends) that day:

Sunset during the Bernardo Fire, San Diego, May 15 2014

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos


I got my first paycheck from my sales at Fine Art America on May 15! Yahoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Zoey the Cool Cat will be able to eat at least one more can of Ocean Whitefish & Tuna! She’s a happy cat.

Zoey the Cool Cat

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos


On this date in 2004, the first legal same-sex marriage in the United States was performed in the State of Massachusetts. Amazingly, the sky hasn’t fallen, the ground has not risen up to swallow people, and the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west……………

Sunset at the beach

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos


It’s no secret that the federal government has an interesting past. I had no idea that the lyrics of “Louie, Louie” by The Kingsmen had been investigated by the FBI as pornographic, which would have been a violation of the Interstate Transportation of Obscene Material law. If only they could investigate some of these rap and hip hop lyrics that I hear blasting from the bass-heavy car stereos…………… For more, see The FBI Laboratory weighs in on the “dirty” lyrics of “Louie Louie”. Or just listen to the song and enjoy it:

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos


Zoey the Cool Cat loves to sit and watch (stalk) the mourning doves just inches outside the office window. Yesterday she found a new way to watch (stalk) them.

Zoey the Cool Cat stalking a mourning dove

She was really focused on the shadow for several minutes. The funny thing is, she knows where the mourning dove and feeder are because every 15 seconds or so she would turn around to look at the scene outside the window.

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos


Remember that cool diner I found (see it here: Now I Know What Comfort Food is)? Jim, Julian, and I went to eat there last Saturday. The food was awesome! Definitely worth a return trip when I’m looking for awesome comfort food!

It was very busy, so I only got one picture of the interior, taken just before we left.

Studio Diner, San Diego, California

Food at Studio Diner, San Diego, California

Empty plate

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos


Jim and I have an anniversary coming up. We celebrate several: The day we met (May 26, 1994), the day we moved in together (November 1, 1995), the day we got domestic partnered (July 31, 2004), and the day we got married (October 30, 2008). So our twentieth anniversary of meeting is in just nine days!

I lost all of my pictures of the building where we met in the Great Hard Drive Crash of August 2005. Here is the building where we got married:

San Diego County Administration Building

Just a few days later, California voters—the ones who voted—voted to disallow gay marriages. Fortunately, the California Supreme Court ruled in May 2009 that since we got legally married, our marriage would remain legal and valid. Ultimately the law disallowing gay marriage was overturned.

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos


I don’t understand hateful Christians. Didn’t Jesus heal the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and house the homeless? Or did I read a poor translation of The Bible? WWJD?


Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos

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