What’s your preferred?

I live in my own little world

I had to go to the dermatologist yesterday to have a skin lesion removed. Here’s my conversation with the doc:

Doctor: Good morning, Russel. You want to have that lesion removed today?

Russel: Yes.

Doctor: Okay. I’m going to deaden it. 3….. 2…… 1

Russel: Fuck! That hurt like hell!

Doctor: Cool.

Russel: (Passes out from pain.)

Doctor: (Administers smelling salts.)

Believe me!Russel: (Waking up.) Where’s Little Queen Olivia?

Doctor: I thought you were gay.

Russel: She’s my cat. She takes care of me when I’m in pain.

Doctor: Are you still in pain?

Russel: Hmmmm. As a matter of fact, no.

Doctor: I’m going to remove the lesion now. Just lie there and think of Little Queen Olivia rubbing her butt in your face.

Russel: You’ve met the Little Queen?

Doctor: I also have a female cat. Name’s Freakie Cat.

Russel: They’re probably cousins.

Doctor: Okay. The lesion’s removed. I think you’re bleeding but I’ve never seen lime green blood before.

Russel: Seems to have gotten that color right after I turned 18.

Doctor: Cool.

Russel: It’s been typed as M+. Seems to have a high alcohol content which causes problems when the police stop me. It’s not common but apparently makes people feel really good, better than O+.

Doctor: Cool. I’m going to bandage it now and send you on your way. If it gets painful later on, take some pain medication. Do you have Acetaminophen?

Russel: Yes, but it’s not my preferred pain killer.

Doctor: What’s your preferred?

Russel: Margaritas.

Doctor: Cool. Those will do.

11 thoughts on “What’s your preferred?

  1. TamrahJo

    That’s so wonderful you have a doctor that doesn’t fire you for being a ‘non-compliant’ patient (i.e., “Nope, I don’t need pain killers – there’s a liquor store 2 blocks from me if I need something stiffer than wine” – ). LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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