I have always wanted to serve on a jury. Tomorrow I might get my chance. I have a summons for jury duty for tomorrow morning, 7:45.
I have received jury summons before but I have always been self-employed and being picked for a jury could have been disastrous for a one-man-shop. So I always took the option out for the self employed.
Now that I’m retired and not yet doing anything other than landscaping the new home, playing with Zoey the Cool Cat, and making plans for when I do start to do something again next year, I’m going to do everything I can to get myself on this jury, regardless of its nature.
Defending attorney: Have you ever served on a jury?
Me: No, but I’m sure he’s guilty.
Prosecuting attorney: Would you like to serve on this jury?
Me: Yes, because I know he’s guilty.
Defending attorney: Have you read anything about the defendant?
Me: Yes. I googled him. He’s guilty.
Prosecuting attorney: Do you have an open mind for these types of crimes?
Me: Sure. Guilty fucker.
Judge: No inappropriate language in my courtroom young man.
Me: Young? You wanna see my driver’s license?
Defending attorney: Are you a college graduate?
Me: Sure as fuck am.
Prosecuting attorney: Judge, he’s still using foul language.
Judge: He is, isn’t he.
Prosecuting attorney: Judge, make him stop. Make him stop, Judge.
Judge: Fuck no. I think he’s on to something. Maybe this fucker is guilty….