My wise old grandmother taught me to add some laughter to my life each day.
Sometimes it’s impossible to quit laughing.
Here are some funnies that have been collecting dust on one of my bookshelves:
Antonio, age 99, filed for divorce in December 2012 from his wife, Rosa, age 96. They had been married for 77 years. Apparently, Antonio became upset when he found letters from Rosa’s affair. The letters and affair were from fifty years ago.
Is it the water?
Desmond Hatchett of Knoxville, Tennessee, said to be a serial impregnator, has fathered at least 24 children by at least 11 women. However, he is not Tennessee’s most prolific serial impregnator. Terry Turnage of Memphis has 23 children by 13 women, and Richard Colbert, also from Memphis, has 25 children with 18 women.
Our representatives are better than your representatives
The approval rating of the United States Congress is low, very low. Some polls find their rating to be less than head lice. However, in India’s Parliament, comprising 552 members, 162 are facing criminal charges, including sexual assault.
Bartering is not making a comeback
Jason Bacon of Eureka, California, was arrested for offering to trade $8,000 of his home-grown marijuana for a used motorcycle. Said Bacon about using marijuana in this way: “I know you can’t sell it, but I thought it was okay to trade it.”
Don’t get mom involved
Jesse Mathews was arrested and charged with capital murder for killing a Tennessee police officer. Mommy Mathews wrote the judge, saying that Jesse is a “….good man. You do one little thing that pisses people off, and they want to hold it against you forever.”
They can’t put anything on the Internet that isn’t true
Ralph Shortey, a state senator from Oklahoma, introduced a bill in January to ban the use of human fetuses in processed food. He said he had been reading up on the practice on the Internet. Maybe he was streaming “Soylent Green.”
Government in action
Wyoming, preparing for possible secession from the United States, in February considered a bill to establish a state army, navy, marine corps, and air force. A proposed amendment added consideration for purchasing an aircraft carrier. Wyoming is landlocked by does have within its borders the 136-square-mile Yellowstone Lake. Although the amendment was defeated, it should be noted that 27 representatives for it.
More government in action
Doug Rochow of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, routinely shovels the snow on two paths in a park near his home since the city gives it a low priority. He believes that since so many people use the paths, clearing it would help prevent people from slipping, falling, hurting themselves, and suing the city. The city had a different view when they ordered him to cease clearing the paths: If Rochow cleared the paths, more people would be encouraged to use them, increasing the city’s exposure to lawsuits.
GoAir of New Delhi announced in June that it would hire only females for the cabin crew, stating that they weigh less than men and the lower weight would result in an annual fuel savings of $4 million.
It’s still a man’s world
Teri James from right here in San Diego filed a lawsuit against San Diego Christian College for firing her. Seems she was pregnant and unmarried, a violation of employee rules. She believes the firing was illegal gender discrimination because her job was offered to her fiancé who had been openly cohabiting with her and is the baby’s father.
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