Category Archives: My own little world

It was six years ago today (we got married!)

I livew in my own little world

On April 15, 1993, I was standing in line at the Bank of A&M in College Station, Texas, to transfer money from savings to checking to cover the check I was writing to the IRS later than afternoon.

Late that night, after packing the Mustang GT with 100 CDs, enough clothes for a one-week drive, and $5,000 in cash, I left for Canada to commit suicide. It wasn’t the IRS, although I have heard of the IRS driving people to death. Rather, it was sexuality—mine—which I couldn’t reconcile with my Mormon (mom) and Catholic (dad) upbringing. Thus, at the age of 38, I was going to choose suicide.

It’s a two-week story of how I wound up in San Diego, but I did…. And I stayed.

On May 26, 1994, I met Jim Frimmer at the Men’s Coming Out Support Group at the San Diego Center for Social Services. It was actually the gay and lesbian center, but even as recently as 1994 you couldn’t have a telephone number listed for anything “gay” or “lesbian.”

At that time I was working as a consultant in Detroit, Michigan. The company provided me with a free trip home once a month, and May 26, 1994, was my first trip home. We had dates on the 27, 28, and 29 before I had to go back to Detroit. After those three dates, we were pretty sure we were committed to each other.

In November 1995, after I had returned to San Diego permanently, we moved in together and commingled our finances and our lives—a common-law marriage, although not recognized as such since it was between two guys.

On July 31, 2004, we got domestic partnered (such an ugly term) when Domestic Partnership came to California.

Then, in May 2008, the California Supreme Court effectively made same-gender marriage legal in California with one of its rulings. Almost immediately, religious political extremists started gathering signatures for a voter referendum on “gay marriage” and succeeded in getting it on the November 2008 ballot. A week before the election, the polls weren’t looking good for same-gender marriage, so I asked Jim to marry me….

….and on October 30, 2008….

WE GOT MARRIED!
(legally)

The referendum passed, which meant that same-gender couples could no longer marry in California. But what about the 17,000 same-gender couples who had married in California between May and November 2008? Well, in May 2009, the California Supreme Court ruled that since those same-gender couples had married legally, their marriages would remain legal.

Religious political extremists sued to have them declared null and void, but they lost. Since that time same-gender marriage has been taking the United States state by state, and it’s only a matter of time before all 50 states recognize the love between two people of the same gender.

So happy anniversary to Jim Frimmer. Thank you for being a significant part of my life for over twenty years.

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Get it in writing

I livew in my own little world

Back in 1994 I met a Nevada attorney with whom I became good friends. We met in Detroit, Michigan, while working for the same company.

When he started a competing company in 1995, he asked me to come aboard as the CEO. He couldn’t match my current pay, so I didn’t go. At that time in my life, pay was everything.

He kept after me on a regular basis, and I volunteered many weekends to help create the infrastructure for his company. As his company grew, he kept asking me to work for him. I kept telling him that when he could match my salary, I was all his.

Finally, in March 1995, he said he could, and would, match my salary. My salary had grown substantially. He was shocked, but I gave him a pay stub as proof. He offered me the job and the salary. I gave two weeks notice and flew from Oakland, California, to Tampa, Florida, to begin my new job.

As his company acquired more Clients—specifically Clients in California and Nevada, he decided to move the company west. Since I was the CEO, I had some input into new headquarters, and we landed in my home town of San Diego.

During all my interactions with him, he kept promising me the world, and he kept delivering….

One of his promises was that if the company survived five years with me as CEO, I would get 5% of the company. As we came upon the four-year anniversary, he announced that he was dating one of our employees in Boston. At 4½ years, he announced his engagement. At 4 years and 11 months, he got married and they went to Europe on a 30-day honeymoon. When they returned, he announced that I was being let go and that his wife was going to be the new CEO. I had no employment contract because I trusted him immensely.

Life has been downhill ever since….

My only satisfaction with that story is that six months after they got married, they got divorced. Interestingly, even though he was an attorney with a net worth far in excess of hers, he had no prenuptial. She got $37 million, half of his net worth, in the divorce settlement.

Moral: Get it in writing.

I reached the pinnacle of my career in 1999-2000, and today I am at the bottom. I’m still trying but not really sure what I’m going to do, or how much longer I’m going to stick around….

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You can’t publish even 1 post every 30 days?

I livew in my own little world

Ever since I upgraded from Internet Explorer 10 to 11 on March 27, I’ve been able to get back to visiting WordPress blogs, usually about 100 per day but sometimes up to 200 per day. Everyone probably knows that I like to camp out, reading several posts, leaving LIKEs and comments.

I’m back in the groove now, so with 3,187 blogs that I currently follow, it takes me about 30 days to visit everyone.

Unfortunately, I have discovered that a lot of people have made their blogs private, have deleted their blogs altogether, or have left their blogs in place but can’t find the time to publish even one blog post each month!

Some people visit me regularly but don’t have any blogs or recent posts for me to visit. All I can do with them is say,

Thanks for stopping by! See you next time!

Since my purpose here is to interact with people who want to interact with me, effective immediately, if you have a big ol’ ZERO next to your name in my Excel spreadsheet, I won’t be visiting you next month, or the month after that. It simply takes too much time to click on links to blogs and let them load, only to find out that there’s nothing new to read, like, or comment on.

I still will come by once every 90 days or so to see if you’re back to blogging, and if you are, I’ll camp out for a little while and get you back into my shorter rotation.

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Christmas is just around the corner

I livew in my own little world

I have a propensity to repeat certain things frequently, so much so that Julian asked me about my “sayings.” I seriously doubt that any of my sayings are original. Rather, I think I picked them up from other people or from TV shows and movies, and through the years they have simply become a part of me.

One of my favorites that I will use when someone is sad or depressed is, “Christmas is just around the corner.” That gets a laugh, or at least a chuckle, in June and July. Time does go by so fast, though, that “Christmas will be here before you know it.”

As I was cataloging pictures this morning, I came across two Christmas trees, albeit not the type of Christmas trees which you probably just visualized. Here are my two Christmas trees:

Plantus unknownii

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos

Friday Flower Fiesta

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos

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Who am I?

I livew in my own little world

My wise old grandmotherMany decades ago, when I was but a teenager living with my wise old grandmother in South Texas, I got into a lot of trouble. They say that I was a juvenile delinquent. Eventually (finally?), my wise old grandmother took me to a child psychiatrist in Corpus Christi, Texas. Dr. Goodenough. I’ll never forget his name because, although it was pronounced good-no, I always pronounced it just like it’s spelled, good enough. Was he good enough to figure me out?

Not until I was 38 did I find out the results of my sessions with the good ol’ doctor. The prognosis was that I was a “bright, hyperactive child.” The solution: “Keep him occupied.”

I also found out that he was being paid $100 an hour in 1968. I was 38 in 1993 when all the papers were given to me, and oh how I wanted to go back to school to become a psychiatrist. $100 an hour over the course of a year (every Thursday afternoon) to tell my wise old grandmother that I was a bright, hyperactive child and to keep me occupied. $100 an hour in 1968…. $100 an hour in 1968……….

Although I never became a psychiatrist, psychiatry and psychology have always interested me since that day. In honor of all those bright, hyperactive children everywhere, I present to you a special personality test to help determine just who YOU are.

Answer the following ten questions truthfully and as quickly as possible—don’t think about them—and then click on the link to see what kind of personality you have, just who YOU are.

  1. Beatles or Rolling Stones?
  2. Never belittle the comfort offerd by a catPC or Mac?
  3. Dogs or Cats?
  4. Blue or Red?
  5. Coffee in the morning?
  6. Do you tweet at Twitter?
  7. City slicker or country bumpkin?
  8. Rose or orchid?
  9. Sun bunny or snow bird?
  10. Ford Mustang or Chevy Camaro?

Now, find out who you are by clicking on the link:

WHO AM I?

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos

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From Julian: We Have A Twitter Now, Too

I livew in my own little world

Julian Rey Saenz, Muisican and Partner of Russel Ray Photos

Hello everyone, Julian here, >>

#2 over at Russel Ray Photos.

This is my second post on Russel’s Southern California blog, and it will look very similar to my first post regarding our Russel Ray Photos Facebook page.

As a teenager and an active member in social networking, I understand the importance of the Internet and its applicableness in today’s world. For that reason, I concocted a “brand new” Twitter page for Russel Ray Photos (it’s actually been around for a few weeks now, we only recently learned how to make it “fine, fine, fine” as Russel would say).

Russel and I, as always, appreciate your continued support, and we would love you even more if you stopped by to follow us on Twitter!

Thank you!

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos

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Facebook Page: Russel Ray Photos

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Looking for real estate services in San Diego County?
I can highly recommend James Frimmer, Realtor, CDPE
CA BRE #0145857201 HomeSmartDiamondSmall copy 2

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If you’re looking for a home inspector,
I recommend Russel Ray — that’s me!

Real Estate Solutions by Russel Ray

Blog Love (6-22-14)

I livew in my own little world

Really tall treeIf you missed my initial post about Blog Love, you can read it here. If you get mentioned in my Blog Love series, it’s a sure bet that I’m following YOU!

During these past two weeks, I had to slow down my blog camping since so many people don’t publish daily posts like I do. It’s difficult to camp out in someone’s blog when they have published only a couple of blog posts since last time I camped out. In some cases, people hadn’t published anything!

I left 2,200 LIKEs and 415 comments since June 4. The blogs where I left a total of at least ten LIKEs/comments are listed below.

Those bloggers who post pictures with very little text to read get the most LIKEs and comments, so it’s not unusual to find pet blogs and photography blogs high on the Blog Love list each week.

Click on the link to go visit them, and be sure to tell them that Russel Ray sent you their way!

  1. Help Us Help Our 4-Legged Frynds – 64
  2. kanzen sakura – 60
  3. Violet’s veg*n e-comics – 59
  4. Sand Spring Chesapeakes – 45
  5. Vit Peyr – 39
  6. FlowerEnchanted Seashells – 34
  7. Adventures and musings of an arch druidess – 31
    Realistic Cooking Ideas for Busy People – 31
  8. retireediary – 29
    Chronic Conditions and Life Lessons – 29
  9. Free View – 24
  10. rubicorno – 23
  11. Zoey the Cool Cat bookShaking the tree – 21
  12. RABIRIUS – 19
    Penlateral – 19
  13. Loving food, fashion, and life – 17
  14. wordsfromanneli – 16
  15. West Virginia Mountain Mama – 15
  16. Not just sassy on the inside – 13
  17. Friendly Fairy Tales – 12
  18. Pride in Photos Photography – 10

 

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos

I'm Zoey the Cool Cat, and I approve this post

Pictures copyright 2012 Russel Ray Photos

Need a unique gift?
Consider Photographic Art!

photograhic art taking pictures making art

Visit Photographic Art by Russel Ray Photos at Fine Art America.

►►►►◄◄◄◄

Looking for real estate services in San Diego County?
I can highly recommend James Frimmer, Realtor, CDPE
CA BRE #0145857201 HomeSmartDiamondSmall copy 2

02 HomeSmartRWnameOnly2 copy

►►►►◄◄◄◄

If you’re looking for a home inspector,
I recommend Russel Ray — that’s me!

Real Estate Solutions by Russel Ray