Straight men should love gay men for reducing competition
Chick-Fil-A has been in the news lately, and while going out and participating in protests has always been beyond me, I do know how to vote with my money. So when Mitch McConnell designated August 1 as “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day” and asked everyone who supported Chick-Fil-A’s brand of hate and discrimination to eat at Chick-Fil-A, I decided that, yes, eating out would be good, with a slight twist.
Chick-Fil-A announced that they had record breaking sales on Appreciation Day, but that doesn’t tell the full story. Jim and I went out to eat, and many of our gay, lesbian, transgendered, and bisexual friends, as well as our “straights for equality” friends, also went out to eat, except that we chose gay-owned restaurants.
We had breakfast at Brian’s Eatery, owned by a gay couple; lunch at gay-owned Urban Mo’s; and mid-afternoon chocolate shakes at our gay-owned Ben & Jerry’s store. I also bought some plants and batteries at our gay-owned Ace Hardware store. We had supper at gay-owned Bread & Cie; and then a late evening margarita and snacks at gay-owned Baja Betty’s. After that, we all watched the sun set, hopefully on hate and homophobia.
For readers who don’t know, Jim and I met on May 26, 1994. We moved in together on November 1, 1995. Then we got Domestic Partnered on July 31, 2004 and, when gay marriage was legal in California for six months in 2008, yes, we got legally married on October 30, 2008. The California Supreme Court ruled in May 2009 that since we got married legally, our marriage shall remain legal and recognized.
The world is changing, as it always has been, and as with interracial marriage, eventually gay marriage will be recognized in all states under the “full faith and credit” clause of Article IV, Section 1, of the United States Constitution. It’s just a matter of time, and the clock is ticking, more rapidly than I ever dreamed it would. After all, the world didn’t end (it will on December 21, 2012…….lol) and the sky hasn’t fallen in countries and states where gay marriage is legal and recognized (Argentina, Canada, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Massachusetts, New York, Iowa, etc.).
Nonetheless, I will never understand how my being a gay married man has any effect on a straight person’s marriage. In fact, straight men should love gay men for reducing competition…..
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Posted on August 4, 2012, in Mother & Father Nature, Photos, SNIPPETS and tagged Ace Hardware in San Diego, Baja Betty's in San Diego, Ben & Jerry's in San Diego, Bread & Cie in San Diego, brian's eatery in San Diego, chick-fil-a, Chick-Fil-A hate and homophobia, gay marriage, marriage equality, mitch mcconnel's brand of hate, Urban Mo's in San Diego. Bookmark the permalink. 34 Comments.
FANTASTIC idea. Just wonderful! I’ll never understand this issue. The KKK uses the argument of free speech, too. And it’s ALL about HATE.
Great point! Unfortunately, many years of my life were spent in Texas, where the KKK still has a significant presence. I just don’t understand hateful people.
I don’t understand everyone flocking to the restaurants for the argument of FREE SPEECH. You’re flocking there b/c you’re homophobic. If you believed in free speech, you’d also go to a KKK rally.
I was born in Central FL, and to this day, my poor mother (a teacher) has vivid memories of their presence there, too… Just horrible. She’s still scared to visit the state, hahah! GREAT idea of yours, tho.
Oh Russel – you are so wonderful – I LOVE this post, and you, for saying what you have said so bloody cleverly!
Religious belief is a dangerous thing. I might have a chance to reason with you if you came upon a belief in any other way, but religious people are convinced they are right and they cannot be shaken. But I will also say that more people believe that gay marriage should be legal than do not. So now how to convince that majority to put their vote where their beliefs are. Personally, I’m tired of seeing my country led by a bunch of stodgy old white guys in suits that spout that religious hatred. That’s not what my world looks like.
The United States, supposedly, is a country where the rights of the minorities cannot be trampled upon by the majorities. It’s a beautiful system, but that doesn’t prevent the majorities from trying to do a lot of trampling……slavery, interracial marriage, even inter-religion marriage many years ago. That’s where the Courts come in. As much as the majority tries to trample, in a nation run by “rule of law,” eventually those hateful laws will be struck down by the Supreme Court. Sometimes, even the Supreme Court gets it wrong initially but ultimately corrects itself; see Bowers v. Hardwick (1986) and Romer v. Evans (1996).
you are right – you should be seen as making it easier on straight guys –lol — why can’t some of these people see this — and what is it with judging others — it always boggles my mind that we think we can be so right and others wrong – what is wrong with these people-
I believe in free speech to a point –some people use it the wrong way –Just like I think God was wrong to give us free will–we get in all sorts of trouble with this–we cannot be trusted–(you realize this is tongue in cheek I am sure – lol)
Oh, you got me chuckling, and Zoey the Cool Cat is looking at me, like, “What is he laughing at so early in the morning?”
Love what you did!
Brilliant.
I never understand why anyone of any religion or race, skin colour or sexual persuasion has the right to criticise another. What makes anyone better than anyone else. I also get affronted when wealthy people look down on poor people who don’t have the same education & work opportunaties. If wealthy people don’t like poor, they should put their money where their mouth is and share some of their wealth around (so that poorer people can get tertiary or university educations/
I thought we all had red blood in our veins. We all have hearts & brains. What business is it of anyone else what you (or I) do behind closed doorrs (or even open doors if it comes to that).
Two girls hold hands in the street. Why shouldn’t 2 men hold hands in the street.
A committed relationship of any kind deserves the same respect no matter what the genda or marital status.
I certainly don’t condemn married couples (because I am single).
KUDOS to you, Jim and your friends for showing support for local, gay-owned businesses, rather than battling with the haters!
Lovely photos … your life and choices are yours to make… good luck..
I’m totally glad for gay men reducing the competition. Thanks to you, I was able to overachieve!
I don’t think what Dan Cathy said was hate. Sorry, I don’t. I don’t agree with him, I think everyone should have the right to be happy with the person they want to be happy with. But it’s disagreement, not hate.
Having said that, while I think boycotting Chick-Fil-A is wrongheaded, I think your idea of patronizing gay-owned businesses is a GREAT one. That is a very positive way to make a statement. Rather than punish someone who holds different opinions than you, you REWARDED someone who supports those views. I’m not being sarcastic–I think that’s an excellent idea and I wish more people did it.
Disagreeing is far different from hate. Just the tone of Cathy’s voice during the interview indicated that he is filled with hate.
When what I am, or do with another consulting adult, has absolutely nothing to do a person, it’s hate. Think about it logically and take religion out of the picture, and it’s easy to recognize it as hate. Now add religion into the picture, and it becomes religious hate, hate for no other reason than one blindly follows religion.
There’s always going to be haters. But simply disagreeing with gay marriage doesn’t make you hateful. By coincidence, I wrote a post about this very topic yesterday: http://prometheantimes.com/2012/08/03/hatey-hate-hate-what-it-is-and-what-it-aint/ If you have time, I’d like to hear your thoughts on it. I don’t expect you to agree, but as someone who I know cared deeply for his wise old grandmother, maybe you’ll be able to see a little more where I’m coming from when I say that it’s not all hate.
Bottom line, I think your idea of supporting gay businesses is great in so many ways. I would love to see that idea take off.
Oh, I agree. But people like Dan Cathy are not “simply disagreeing.” They are hatefully disagreeing. Big difference. And I agree it’s not “all hate,” just 99% of it.
That’s a start!
I just feel like our society is moving backwards instead of forwards in terms of our concept of humanity. It seems like there is an undercurrent of anger and hostility growing in the nation that comes out in calculated statements that is then defended as free speech. Good for you for making a statement with your dollars.
Hilarity and sincerity all over this post. I didn’t how I really reacted inside my head upon reading.
In my rational perspective, just let people do what the eff they want to do. Church, conservatives, self-righteous, the rich nd the famous, the bums, my parents, my friends, we all have skeletons in the closet. It is up to them to make the right decision, and they should be ready to face the consequences on making the wrong choices. One rule I learned is to settle for the grey area, there shouldn’t be black or white.
Great post. I do not understand hate. And hate expressed under the pretense of the expression of religious freedom is abhorrent.
Hate = ignorance. Hate = narrow-mindedness. Hate = people who really should get a life and let everyone else have theirs. You are right – your marriage has nothing to do with my marriage. I’ve heard the term “equal rights” – should that not be equal for EVERYONE?
When I got married in 1984, my interracial marriage was illegal in three states. When it comes up in conversation now a days, people find it hard to believe that was the case such a relatively short time ago. Love, and civil rights, will prevail.
One of the reasons why I quit traveling outside of California is because I got married. However, should Jim and I travel to extremely homophobic Arizona, and something happen to either one of us, the other would not be allowed to make medical decisions. We can’t tolerate that, so we just quit traveling.
I was under the impression that specifically was changed during (I think it was) Obama’s first year in office. I guess I was wrong. Maybe it just had to do with hospital visitation… but not medical decisions. Do you know? — And I also understand staying put. There were places in north FL and south GA we avoided.
Obama’s executive order applies to federal employees not the general population.
What a great idea. It should be an annual event!
Hate talk does engender hate, but sometimes towards the original hater… chirstians are not making friends with this kind of behavior. Have to think Jesus might boycott, too. On the other hand, congrats on 18 years, that is a great achievement. I have not managed a relationship that long. But then, I am a heterosexual…(and can we chuckle at ourselves every now and then?)
I think people should be free to be who they are. Being true to yourself and others is a great thing. A late congratulations on the marriage.
Hate…it’s just fear of the unknown, isn’t it? A terrified, irrational brand of ignorance. Which makes it all the more sinister. Anyway, love your style of protest
I’m really with you on this one… I’m as straight as they can be but I really fail to understand why there is so much interest in what others do in their own home! If there are 2 consenting adults then everyone should mind their own business. Not much more needs to be debated
Equality for all is just a matter of time…
I’m sorry that there is so much hatred in the world Russel. Being a Christian, and seeing other Christians giving the belief a bad name by having so much hatred over people with different lifestyles isn’t fair for the rest of us. A lot of people look at me differently when i tell them I’m Christian, we have a lot of homosexuals in Eugene, not far from where I live. I don’t know what you believe in, but when Jesus was on earth, he didn’t hang out with the righteous or the religious people. They were judgmental and were the ones who, eventually, crucified him. If Jesus was around now, he would show how you should love everyone, because He would do that same. I’m sorry for people who “claim” they are in the right, they have no right. God’s the only one who knows a persons heart. Thank you for being strong and sharing this with us
I’m proud of you!
I do not understand why anyone can hate another human being. It is ludicrous the way some treat others. What difference does it make who owns a business, if that establishment has what I need/want and they are friendly, treat the customers with respect, have fair prices they get my business. I will not do business with any establishment though that rejects anyone because of their choices in life. Good for you for standing up for your right to choose in the way that you did. This country would be so much better off if everyone would just respect one another and their choices in life. We are all different so no one should expect others to be like themselves.