Ya just can’t make this stuff up
I have been wanting to start this new series for several months. Finally………
I learned the saying “a piece missing” from my wise old grandmother, as in “He’s got a piece missing.” This series touches on those stories — unverified by me, simply hearsay — that make me think aloud, “He’s got a piece missing.”
First, the case of the $65 million bald eagle, dead and stuffed:
Preface: We all know that the Internal Revenue Service of the United States is always correct.
Facts:
1 — Robert Rauschenberg is an American painter and artist who died in 2008.
2 — Rauschenberg’s work titled Canyon includes a stuffed bald eagle.
3 — Two federal laws make it illegal to buy or sell bald eagles, dead or alive.
4 — Ileana Sonnabend was an art dealer who died recently, leaving an estate with, uh, art in it, including the stuffed bald eagle by Rauschenberg.
Hearsay: The IRS levied taxes on the estate of Sonnabend as if the bald eagle were worth $65 million. Sonnabend’s estate is fighting the taxes based on auction house appraisals stating that the stuffed bald eagle is worth exactly nothing. Zip, zero, zilch…. nothing, because the two federal laws prohibit its sale. The IRS, however, says that since there is a black market for stuffed bald eagles, there might be a billionaire recluse in China willing to buy the stuffed bald eagle.
My wise old grandmother’s opinion: Someone at the IRS has got a piece missing.
Next, the case of the early bird getting the worm:
Facts: In the United States, it is illegal to drink alcohol if one is under the age of 21.
Hearsay: A Mr. Bittar who resides in Eugene, Oregon, turned 21 this past March 15. Since he was proud of his newly conferred and legal privilege of drinking alcohol, he had his first drink at midnight. Just 1½ hours later, he was in jail charged with DUI, reckless driving, and criminal mischief, and his car had been impounded. To top it off, he crashed his car into an alcohol rehabilitation center…. I think that might be the DUI and reckless driving charges….
My wise old grandmother’s opinion: He’s got a piece missing.
Ya just can’t make this stuff up.
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Posted on July 3, 2012, in A piece missing, Birds, Fauna, Manmade, Mother & Father Nature, My wise old grandmother. Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.
A nice young man from my home town in upstate NY went to Arizona to spend time with some friends (or just mooch from them for a while). He decided to shoot at a large cactus to see if he could make it fall. He succeeded. It fell on him. He has a few pieces missing but he did get the point(s) in the end.
Sounds like he was shooting at saguaros, which, last time I was over there, is illegal. Nice big fine for damaging or stealing those cactus.
You are absolutely correct about the saguaros. But our once-young friend does not have to worry about that (or anything else) anymore.
Oh my… terrible way to start a drinking career!
Good Heavens, Zoey is showing us her tonsils today! Is she laughing or yawning?
I’ve never heard that saying, but it seems to fit the bill. 
ZCC is yawning.
My wise old grandmother from South Texas didn’t like to call someone “crazy,” which some people definitely are at times, sometimes too many times.
My wise old grandmother from Georgia would say ” Not rowing with both oars.” Wow, wouldn’t want my finger to get stuck in Zoey’s mouth!
Not rowing witih both oars — I like that.
I have to agree with your grandmother those two for sure had a piece missing.
Our were always a “few fries short of a happy meal’, and “not the brightest crayon in the box” . I like have a piece missing, it suits our feds to a T!
Well if my Happy Meal is a few fries short, I’m complaining! lol
I nominated you for the Readers Appreciation Award. If you are interested the link is here,
http://fromamontanafrontporch.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/oooo-thats-pretty/
If not thats ok, I just wanted you to know that I enjoy your blog!
Thank you very much!
Their elevators don’t go all the way to the top…..I’m guessin’.
Half a bubble off center…
That’s one I have never heard before. I like it!
I also like, “The guy’s a bungalo. All house and no attic.”
That is another good one, especially since I’m a home inspector. I have met a few Realtors who are bungalows…..lol
We say, “Amazing insight!”
(Tongue in cheek, of course.)
Sure did enjoy this page and thanks, AGAIN, for camping out at my place!
RusselRay, thanks for stopping by and Liking me. I like your blog too and I’ve nominated you for an award, you can pick it up on my blog if you want
Yeah! An award! Thank you!