My wise old grandmother’s words of wisdom
Uh-oh. Another series….
When I was living with my mom and stepdad in Brigham City, Utah, I was a juvenile delinquent. Perhaps one of Utah’s greatest juveniles ever. You name it, I did it. Everything except rape and murder.
When my wise old grandmother, Mary Alice Kirk, adopted me in December 1965, she laid down the rules and told me the consequences of breaking the rules. She was serious, too. It only took me twice to see that. Each time I broke a rule, yes, I did suffer the consequences. Quite often I had to go out to the back yard and cut the oleander switch that she was going to use on my bare bottom. In today’s world, I probably could sue her for child abuse…. sad. Children need love and discipline, not every toy under the sun in place of good parenting.
I realized when I went off to college at Texas A&M University just how much she meant to me and what she had done for me. Without her unconditional love and discipline, I truly believe that I would have been killed by a law enforcement officer many decades ago or would be living out my life in prison right now.
In 1974 I started keeping a journal of all her words of wisdom, and my new series will share those words with you.
My wise old grandmother died in July 2003, and my three uncles disinvited me to the funeral. Stupid me didn’t know that you needed an invitation to go to a funeral. That hurt, so much so that in September 2004 I legally changed my name, dropping my surname Kirk and replacing it with my middle name Ray, becoming simply Russel Ray.
Since my dad’s side of the family were all Catholics, and my mom’s side were all Mormons, both sides didn’t really care for me when I came out of the closet in May 1993. To this day I’m estranged from both sides of the family. The only connection I maintain is a web site dedicated to my wise old grandmother.
Anyway, I look forward to sharing some inspiring words with my readers and hope you enjoy them.
Morning glory, my wise old grandmother’s favorite flower
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Posted on May 10, 2012, in My wise old grandmother. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.
Main thing is that you turned out to be a good and decent person! She was tough but she cared for you her way! Nobody is perfect!
I’m not sure I’m a good and decent person. lol
Russel- I love hearing your grandmother’s words of wisdom.
So sad but at the same time such a touching story…Peace Jaz
What an amazing woman. I love this post, I know how hard it is to pour feelings out, I know for me I’m still working on that haha! You are an amazing writer, as I believe I’ve told you before haha! I can’t wait to read more about your grandmother. She sounds amazing and strong, more people need to be like her
This is interesting – I love this wise old grandmother of yours!
It’s so wonderful that you had someone like her in your life — raw heinie and all. She balances out all the other —-s! This, I speak from experience.
Thanks for sharing your fascinating story.
So many things to say on this 80/10/10. That sounds like a book title! Anyway, love her rules. So very true. It reminds me of two things: my own grandmother who said “God helps those who help themselves” and the 80/20 rule in corporate America. 20% of the people do 80% of the work!
Your WWW is 10 times more valuable than the World Wide Web for info and meaning. Would do a lot a kids good if they’d look to grandma for info rather than their smartphones. And no, I don’t have kids or grandkids, but I did have awesome grandmas and I miss them in this world. They don’t make them like that anymore! So glad you had yours too.
The only thing I could never figure out is how they could make such annoying and evil children (aunts and those disinviting uncles) and such wonderful grandchildren. Maybe it’s something about time and life and hardknocks for grandmas themselves. Thanks soooo much for sharing!
Oh, and I couldn’t agree more….there’s just no substitute for practice.
I love this title and your post about your Grandmother! Your love for her comes through.
I too was raised by Grandparents although Grandma often said that she was also raising Grandpa. I was a brat and often was rewarded with a belt on my backside or a croton switch on my legs. But at the same time I knew then that they loved me and I am who I am because of them. My grandmother was and is my hero! I have three boys and three girls of my own who were raised the same way and are applying the same parenting skills with their children.. They do get passed down as you are planning to do. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!
I didn’t realize at the time how important discipline is to raising children who will be good citizens. Too many people in today’s world think that the latest and greatest iPod, iPad, or iPhone will make their children bright, intelligent, good members of society………. I’ll leave it at that.