My wise old grandmother’s words of wisdom — The 80/10/10 rule for people
One of the places I hang out at each day is the Ugly Hedgehog. It’s a photography message board. There are forums for posting pictures just because, posting pictures to get constructive criticism (and if you ask for it, you better be able to take it), asking questions about photography, and, something no message board ever seems to do without, a general chit-chat forum.
I’ve learned to stay out of general chit-chat forums because it often gets too hot in them — sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll, politics, religion………
One of the current threads — now at 17 pages — had people denigrating other people. Some of it got downright nasty. It’s amazing what people will say when they can hide behind the computer screen.
I made a couple of observations, but my main one that seems to have caused the thread to slow down, caused people to step back, pause, and take a deep breath, was this:
My wise old grandmother taught me the 80/10/10 rule for people:
10% of the people will hate me because that’s the type of people they are.
10% of the people will love me because that’s the type of people they are.
80% of the people will love me or hate me depending on my words and actions.
That’s what inspired this new series My wise old grandmother’s words of wisdom.
Bird of Paradise
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Posted on May 10, 2012, in My wise old grandmother, Photos. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.
Wise grandmother … and beautiful picture
Thanks, Mona. I’ll be using flower pictures in all of my wise old grandmother’s posts.
Yes, forums have their good and bad points, Russel, but in the written word, it’s easy to misinterpret what the writer actually meant (due to a missed comma, poor grammar, or a writer being too lazy to explain themselves).
After writing over a thousand posts on a health forum, I just gave up reading and writing when it got downright nasty. But with thousands of members, it all really boiled down to 3-4 nasty, smart a— people, who turned what was a fun, delightful and highly informative health site into a slanging match. It eventually stopped due to some ‘member banning’ by the Mooderators, but even they got hit by some bitter, ugly words. I felt so sorry for those Moderators who had volunteered to give so much of their time with no payment or thanks for their efforts.
(by the way it wasn’t me who got banned LOL),
To be honest, I don’t have the health, time or energy to write lengthy posts or articles any more. I’d rather be in the great outdoors taking photos, getting some fresh air and having fun. But I’d better check out the Ugly Hedgehog – the title sounds intriguing.
Lovely shot of the Bird of Paradise (Strelitzia) flower. It can be a hard flower to photograph.
I went through the same thing at a home inspector’s web site and a real estate web site. The home inspector’s web site had about 10,000 members, but about 15 were just plain mean, stalking those they didn’t like and making it difficult for anyone to learn anything. Their membership is down to 6,000, and not all of it due to the bad economy.
Over at the real estate web site, the staff has their “good old boy” club and the blatant favoritism makes it difficult for others to have fun, too. It got so bad there that I left in January 2012 and set up my own WordPress blog here.
That particular bird of paradise flower is my second favorite. I first saw the flower in 1968 when I was 13. I came from Texas to visit my oldest uncle up in Los Angeles and he had some on his property. Ever since then I have been on a mission to photograph the perfect bird of paradise. It’s difficult because by the time the whole flower has bloomed, parts of the flower have died. I could Photoshop, of course. lol
You’re right about the Strelitzia. It’s really hard to find a perfect specimen that hasn’t got some part wilting or going brown. I photograph it often, but have never shot an image looking as lovely and fresh as yours. Great shot.
Thanks. It’s a fairly recent shot from February 25, 2012. Another problem with them is trying to get a good background with them. I found that loner flower with a stucco wall behind it and was able to get a great shot.
agree with your wise old Gran, love the Bird of Paradise flower & Zoe the cat looks incredibly cool
Thanks for the follow. Have reciprocated 
Hahaha very wise words! That photo is beautiful, that was my grandmas favorite flower
I love the flower, but having grown it on my own property, I’m not a big fan of the plant itself. It has very stiff leaves that can get very pointy and dangerous. It’s ugly if it’s not pruned but pruning can be dangerous. Thus I now let other people grow it and I just take pictures.
HAHAHA Yeah I remember something like that when my grandma had it in her yard lol
Thanks for camping out on the Via Lucis blog again; thought I’d return the favor. Found this and liked it a great deal. Knowing my own generation, I sometimes wonder if the current grandkids will look back and think that we were wise.